


deleting pictures

by 447AM



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Other, just yifan being emo, like always
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 05:03:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6457021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/447AM/pseuds/447AM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yifan goes through his phone and finds pictures he thought were deleted a long time ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	deleting pictures

‘We’re incredibly sorry, our photographer seems to be late. Please, have a seat. Can I get you anything to drink?‘  
'A coffee would be great, thank you.‘

Yifan didn’t mind the break, he never did. In fact, he always hoped for something to go wrong so he could do something pointless for a few minutes, breathe for a moment.  
He’d never complain about his current situation, but neither would he object to a day off.

Slowly sinking into the white couch, he took out this mobile, feeling like he finally had the time to clean up his phones storage- it had been bugging him about it for days.

Yifan deleted what felt like a thousand pictures, yet the annoying little notification wouldn’t disappear. And so he went on and on, feeling like traveling back in time when he saw himself with his wax figure and in Prague, in the studio recording his first solo, in Paris taking pictures for Givenchy. And then, all of sudden, he wasn’t alone anymore in those old selfies.  
He closed his eyes, too long for it to be just a blink or a short break for his tired lids. He thought they were gone, he really did, he had hoped so at least. But there they were, all the old pictures with faces he tried so hard to forget. Minseok, Baekhyun, Jongin, Sehun, they were there, and he knew it was just his mind playing tricks on him, but he felt like they looked disappointed, almost despising.

If Yifan was different, less sentimental, just a little colder, he would have deleted all of them without hesitating.

But he wasn’t, and so he scrolled down and down and further and further into his past. He saw Yixing and Zitao, hotel rooms they stayed in and cities they never got to explore because their schedules were too tight.  
He scrolled through blurry selfies and overexposed images, taken in some airplane going through the sky with thousands of meters per hour. Yifan always wanted their flights to be longer, wanted to have more time above the clouds, far away from practise and appointments, and closer to his members, his friends, the only kind of family he really had at that time.

He laughed about the hair styles he used to have, cringed at the outfits he proudly took photos of in the mirror. But then, when he saw a group photo, just after they had their comeback with wolf, he felt a little sting in his chest, a hint of sadness and regret.  
He missed them, all of them, and sometimes, rarely, he wished he could go back, be a part of EXO again, and just pretend like he hadn’t left them behind all of sudden.  
But he couldn’t and even if he did, Yifan was sure nobody would want him there.  
He just knew Junmyeon wouldn’t look at him the admiring and loving way he did before, Chanyeol wouldn’t laugh about his admittedly bad jokes anymore.  
They wouldn’t, and it was fine.  
He might never see them again, he told himself, and they didn’t want to anyways, he was better off alone, he shouldn’t miss those times. It was good, great, amazing this way, he didn’t need them and they didn’t need him, everything should stay like it was right now.  
He had told himself all of these things for two years now, and he felt pathetic for still doing it every now and then.  
But he just couldn’t let it go. They had been one, and at least somehow, in a way, at least to him, they still were.  
If he just had the courage to -

'Wu Yifan? The photographer finally arrived, we can start now!‘  
Yifan nodded, smiled and put his phone away, thankful to be busy now, too busy to think of times long gone and scenarios that would never happen.  
He would delete these pictures some other time.

**Author's Note:**

> guess whos still emo about exo ot12?? this hoe right here!! :) also this is exactly how i think yifan feels tbh this boy was too happy with the other nerds to just hate them now i think hes just really in denial?? idk i miss him please talk to yifan to on my tumblr or something. (givenyifan or hypyotized idc I MISS YIFAN)


End file.
